Blood on the Rocks, the first dwarven politics chapter. The chapter title almost sounds like an alcoholic beverage for vampires or cannibals, but it's actually just completely literal. 
theepistler and I decided to work together on the dwarven politics chapters. So...
Normal: Me
Bold: theepistler
Italized: Brisingr quotes
The chapter starts with Eragon pissed off, because apparently the dwarf clan chiefs are arguing about stuff that Eragon doesn't care about, like legal code. About half of the clan chiefs don't want war with Galbatorix, so of course they're not going to feel any sense of urgency to hurry things along, not that Eragon cares about that.
Yet another example of Eragon thinking he’s the centre of the universe. He seems to have no comprehension that just because something isn’t important to him and doesn’t affect him personally, doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. Likewise he refuses to recognise the fact that it’s perfectly valid to refuse to take sides in a war, especially given that Galbatorix poses no threat to the dwarves and has left them alone for the past 80 years or so. He only attacked Tronglebongle because the Varden was there. Of course some of the dwarves would take this as a cue to bow out before they lose any more lives.
The Forsworn used to patrol the Beor Mountains, preventing the dwarves from having cities above ground. Eragon could use this as an argument to support war, but these chapters aren’t really about political debate.
Eragon thinks about one of the clan chiefs, Iorunn, who is “clever, cunning, and able to twist most any situation to her advantage.” I want to say “show, don't tell”, but the last thing I want is for Paolini to actually show us and therefore spend more time on this crap.
Needless to say, Iorunn will never become important. Also “most any situation” is an incredibly American wording. As in, to the point that it’s distracting. As a non-American it leaps right out at me, as do all the other anachronistic uses of Americanisms in this book.
She might make an excellent queen, Eragon admitted to himself, but she’s so devious, it’s impossible to know whether she would support the Varden once she was enthroned.
You sure have the dwarves best interest at heart, don't you?
As far as Eragon is concerned the dwarves are just a means to an end. He doesn’t give a fig about any of them unless they serve his interests. I guess that would explain why he openly considers slaughtering an entire clan just because they annoy him, and later on advocates seizing the throne by force. Twice.
Whenever Eragon talk to Iorunn, she makes “allusions to the dwarves’ history and mythology that Eragon did not understand but that seemed to amuse Orik and the other dwarves to no end.”
I like to imagine that she's making him seem like a complete idiot, with him being utterly oblivious.
I honestly kind of like Iorunn - she’s one of very few female characters with any agency in this series. Too bad she’s also utterly extraneous to the plot.
Besides Orik and Iorunn running for leadership, we also have Nado and Gannel.
Gannel has the support of “Dûrgrimst Ragni Hefthyn and Dûrgrimst Ebardac— a clan primarily devoted to scholarly research.”
Why would you mention the specialty of one clan, but not the other? Not that I want to know either clans specialty, as they're both completely irrelevant.
Why does each clan only have a single area of expertise, anyway? What if you’re born into the “scholarly” clan but have zero aptitude for that sort of thing? Do they kick you out? Can you join another clan which specialises in what you actually are good at? For some reason I keep thinking of the society in the Divergent series, which was also a bit silly, but at least you were sorted into the group that suited your temperament and abilities.
Whereas Íorûnn seemed to want the throne merely for the power she would gain thereafter, and Gannel did not seem inherently hostile to the Varden— although neither was he friendly toward them—
...Isn't remaining undecided or unclear on where they stand on an issue just going to hurt their cause?
Yeah, voters generally like to have SOME idea of where you stand on key issues. Unless you’re one of those guys who just gets by on spitting meaningless catchphrases while not standing for anything in particular, but I don’t think Gannel is the type. By the way, Gannel is the same dwarf priest Arya needlessly insulted and bullied in Eldest. I don’t blame him for not being particularly pro-Varden.
Nado is the candidate to the throne opposed to war, and he has the backing of that one clan that hates Eragon, which I'll call the Anhuin clan. The Anhuin apparently made the dwarven council vote on whether Eragon was allowed to attend the political meetings, which delayed things by six hours. This causes Eragon to come to the conclusion that he needs to either make peace with them, or finish what Galbatorix started and slaughter them all. That's reasonable. They wasted six hours, so murdering them all is a completely fair response.
As we all know, the only recognised “crime” in this series is that of not instantly kowtowing to the alleged heroes. These guys have an entirely justified reason to dislike Eragon, but as far as he’s concerned that doesn’t matter in the slightest, and nor should he feel like it’s his responsibility to heal the wounds Galbatorix inflicted, or prove to them that he’s a “good” dragon Rider. Nope - they’re an inconvenience and therefore deserve to die. Elderly and children included, apparently. I guess it didn’t occur to him at all that doing so would instantly turn the rest of the dwarves against him, most likely forever.
The candidates are all trying to keep their backers while taking the backers of others. They won't vote on a leader until they vote that they're prepared to vote on a leader. It takes nine out of thirteen votes for a vote of preparation to pass, while voting on a leader only needs a majority. That's...interesting?
Eragon has been wandering all over the mountain, expositing all of this for us, when he comes across a group of the Anhuin. One of them spits at the floor in front of Eragon before they all go down a separate hallway.
If Saphira were here, they would not dare to be so rude, thought Eragon.
Yeah, she would threaten and intimidate anyone who would dare be rude to Eragon. That's pretty much her only role, besides being Eragon's flying horse.
How dare they be rude to the protagonist! It’s not as if they have any reason to distrust Riders or anything oh wait.
Eragon then ends up at the place where the giant jewel is being reconstructed.
The shards they had yet to place they had stored in open-topped boxes padded with nests of raw wool, each box labeled with a line of spidery runes.
Humans use the same alphabet that the dwarves do. I don't think Paolini knows what runes are.
Eragon talks to the guy in charge of reconstructing the giant gem, who tells the story of how it was made. The gem will be completely put back together within a week at the earliest. I'm skipping over a few pages of “content”, but I don't have much to say about any of it.
Honestly, that we’re expected to buy that they can re-construct something that huge in such a short timeframe is laughable. This isn’t a tabletop jigsaw - it’s a 3D puzzle the size of a house with thousands of unevenly sized pieces. As kippurbird put it, imagine dicing an apple into tiny bits, tossing the pieces in a bowl, then trying to put it back together.
We see a dwarf fit a tiny sliver into the gem. I guess they’re using magic to figure out how all the pieces fit, somehow, but we’re just supposed to take it for granted.
Do we ever actually see a dwarf use magic in this series? Genuine question.
Gannel gives Eragon a necklace that protects against scrying, and some nameless dwarf sorcerers die when Hrothgar dies, and some dwarf sorcerers read Eragon’s mind in the next dwarven politics chapter. There’s definitely no important dwarf magic users like their are important human magic users, like Carn and Trianna.
I have precisely zero recollection of that. In my defense it’s pretty easy to forget a lot of what happens in this series since so much of it is skipped over or mentioned once and then promptly dropped never to be seen again.
Cut to Eragon at dinner, where he has a conversation with Orik. Orik mentions that everyone noticed Eragon's frustration, and rightly says that it shows weakness. I doubt that it's making good impressions, at the very least.
It is at least in character for a sixteen year old kid to get cranky and impatient and be bad at hiding it, but Eragon is supposed to be a mature adult. Or he’s treated like one, anyway. At the very least, Nasuada has given him adult responsibilities. Once again I question why she would ever think Eragon was suitable for this job. He’s not exactly setting a good example or being a good representative for the Varden OR the Riders.
Orik talks about some recent progress, and Eragon whines about how trivial the politics seem. Even if you agree with Eragon, I'm not sure how you're supposed to sympathize with him. His whining just makes it impossible.
“Be honest with me, Orik. What is your position compared with the other clan chiefs? And how much longer is this likely to drag on? With every day that passes, it becomes more likely that the Empire will discover our ruse and Galbatorix will strike at the Varden when I am not there to fend off Murtagh and Thorn.”
I love how he keeps insisting Galbatorix could attack at any moment when the guy didn’t even bother to show up at the Burning Plains. Why would he bother getting off his arse now?
They don’t insist that Galbatorix will attack, but they do insist that he’ll destroy them if he does. Which is because they don’t have an actual plan for defeating Galbatorix, even though it’s the point of the whole war.
As for the complaining about the time limit, too bad Eragon. You and Nasuada ignored how long electing a king might take when you talked about this plan, so reap the consequences.
Which is exactly what I pointed out when I sporked that chapter. They made a huge deal about how long it will take him to get there, but absolutely no consideration was given to how long he might have to stay. Nas seemed to be under the impression that he’d be there for maybe a week, and there was no reason given why she would have made that assumption. Not only that but she was completely fine with Eragon taking a side-trip to see Oromis afterwards.
Orik reassures Eragon of his position, and predicts that the clanmeet will end in one week if they're lucky, two weeks if they're not. Why is he so sure of this? Nine votes out of thirteen are needed to decide on whether they're prepared to vote for a leader. The clans that oppose war have no reason to rush things, and with four clans directly on the side opposing war, every single other clan would have to agree to be ready for the vote to pass. Sure, Orik keeps talking about how close he is to taking one of Nado's backers, but other clans oppose war besides Nado and his backers.
Eragon cursed in an undertone. He was so tense, his stomach churned and rumbled and threatened to reject the meal he had just eaten. Reaching across the table, Orik caught Eragon by the wrist. “There is nothing you or I can do to further hasten the clanmeet’s decision, so do not let it upset you overmuch. Worry about what you can change, and leave the rest to sort itself out, eh?” He released Eragon. Eragon slowly exhaled and leaned on his forearms against the table. “I know. It’s only that we have so little time, and if we fail …”
Eragon feeling frustrated about how useless he is is a recurring theme in the dwarven politics chapters. What does it lead to? Nothing. It's literally just a fact. Eragon is frustrated about how useless he is, and that's it.
Don’t worry, Eragon - you are useless. You don’t even need to be here. Your presence is doing nothing other than needlessly complicate things and provoke counter-productive hostility. Also, why exactly is there a time limit? Again, there’s zero indication that Galbatorix is doing anything at all. Eragon’s acting like there’s a ticking clock when there really isn’t one.
So, Eragon asks if they could take the throne by force. Even Orik is exasperated that he has to explain why this would be a bad idea.
So many of my race hate and fear Dragon Riders because of the crimes Galbatorix, the Forsworn, and now Murtagh have committed against us. And so many of them fear the world beyond the mountains and the tunnels and caverns wherein we hide. Nado and Az Sweldn rak Anhûin are only worsening the situation. They play upon people’s fears and poison their minds against you, the Varden, and King Orrin.… Az Sweldn rak Anhûin is the epitome of what we must overcome if I am to be king. Somehow we must needs find a way to allay their concerns and the concerns of those like them, for even if I am king, I will have to give them a fair hearing if I am to retain the support of the clans.
You'll allay their concerns? Oh yeah, that's definitely how it'll be resolved. I can't wait to see it!
What crimes? What exactly did Galbatorix and Co. do to the dwarves, and why? This “minor detail” is completely glossed over. Just like every other time the possibility of Galbatorix actually doing something evil comes up.
And as usual Eragon thinks violence is the best option. It’s an ongoing theme in the series, with both him and Roran. Negotiation is a waste of time, and empathising with other people is for losers. If you’re not getting what you want, just use violence and threats to get your way! Perhaps the best part is that doing so never backfires on either of them, which it absolutely should have. Eragon should be making enemies by the truckload, but nope. Nothing ever comes of it.
We cut to morning, at the clanmeet. We get a metric fuckton of description that Paolini apparently thinks anyone will care about or remember. Dwarven “runes” are mentioned twice more.
Íorûnn noticed Eragon looking at her. A lazy smile appeared on her lips. With voluptuous ease, she winked at Eragon, obscuring one of her almond-shaped eyes for a pair of heartbeats.
Apparently, winking causes one eye to be obscured for half a second. Who fucking knew?
Why is Iorunn being overtly sexualised, anyway? Is she supposed to be a femme fatale or something? I guess we should be grateful she didn’t try to - shudder - seduce Eragon.
Now there’s a plot twist I’d like to see - the square-jawed hero ditches the beautiful elf princess to chase a dwarf instead. Hell, what if we took it even further and it was a male dwarf? Now that would be a nice kick in the pants for complacent fantasy readers.
As Orik had asked, Eragon remained impassive throughout the meeting, concealing his reactions from those who were watching.
You yawned earlier. Doesn't that count?
The clanmeet is taking a break, so Eragon goes off to wander again. He tries thinking of ideas to unite the dwarves against Galbatorix, but the ideas are far-fetched, even to him. One can only wonder what those ideas are.
We’ll never know, because most likely Paolini couldn’t actually think of any, hence why it’s completely skipped over.
Eragon ends up in the same room he wandered into earlier in the chapter, which I didn't mention at the time because it wasn't important. Another thing I haven't mentioned until now is that Eragon has four bodyguards. I thought Arya and the Kull being bodyguards to Eragon earlier in the book was stupid, but maybe it's just symbolic here, or maybe it's to protect other dwarves from trying something against a seemingly defenseless Eragon. I don’t know why I’m bothering to try and come up with excuses for Paolini...
Why does Eragon need bodyguards, anyway? He’s not “defenseless” in the slightest. He can kill twenty guys in ten minutes with his bare freaking hands, without even using magic. He’s been built up as a super badass to the point that needing bodyguards is laughable.
Note that in the upcoming fight scene, said bodyguards prove to be completely useless anyway.
Yeah...the fight scene covers only a third of the pages in this chapter, but it’s half the spork, so we’ll be covering it in part 2, which I'll post in a few days.