We now return to Axis, who is in a boat in “a vast violet lake” with a crystal ceiling. Neat. (No really, that sounds pretty neat. I’d like to see a painting of it). The Ferryman says he’ll teach him on one condition, and Axis thinks about how he’s been warned that the guy is a “cunning bargainer” who “[speaks] in riddles”. Do I even need to bother to point out that this has never been remotely demonstrated, or can we just take it as read by this point?
Anyway, the condition is that Axis isn’t allowed to share what he’s about to learn with anybody except his children. No explanation is given as to why, but Axis accepts. He asks the guy’s name. It’s Orr. You mean like popular children’s author Wendy Orr?
(She wrote Nim’s Island. Look her up).
Axis asks where all the other Charonites are and Orr says they’re all him. As in the entire race shares a single body. Weird. I guess the Sentinels don’t count? Will this ever be explained? Almost certainly not. It’s just dropped in here and then forgotten. And, Eragon-like, Axis asks no follow-up questions.
Next Axis asks about the underground waterways, and gets a long explanation about how they match the Star Dance somehow. It’s weird and… well, weird. Wendy Orr then reveals that there are actually way more spells rather than the thousand or so Axis learned (in a month). He brings up the subject of Axis’ special gold diamond ring, and cracks up laughing when Axis says it’s just a ring before making fun of the Icarii for being stupid and forgetful and whatnot. Yes, all very amusing – can we please get to the point? For once I agree with Axis when he starts losing his temper.
Finally Orr tells him that there’s basically no limit to the number of magic songs you can sing, and if Axis wants to cast a spell he doesn’t have a song for, all he has to do is think of it while looking at the ring and the ring will just magically show him the notes. Well that’s convenient. And now Axis can basically do any fucking thing he wants with his all-purpose magic. Will he do anything creative with this all-purpose tool he just got for free? Of course not. Sues don’t have any imagination because they never need to have any, because any time they have a problem the author solves it well before they have to use their brains. Par for the course. (This is also why most Sues are morons).
Orr gives him a little lecture about how some spells are too dangerous and will kill you if you try to use them (then why do they exist in the first place?), and you can’t use magic to heal injuries because reasons (unless you’re Faraday, but nobody brings that up). Then Orr makes fun of the Icarii some more for somehow forgetting how to use their own magic rings, and I’m in agreement with him – it’s hilariously implausible and just exists so Axis and Axis alone gets the power-up. (Which will not be used for anything important anyway).
Then Axis brings up the rogue Enchanter who apparently taught him as a sprog, and Orr is disturbed and says he’ll look into it. He then goes on to say Axis can use Magic to teleport, though only to certain places, and some of them are unavailable right now until somebody activates them. You know, just like in a video game.
![]()
Then Orr randomly reaches into the water and pulls out a second ring, which is even more special and amazing and wonderful than the one Axis has – it’s apparently made from sapphire and has golden stars moving around inside it. It’s also clearly made for a woman’s finger. Because all women have slim fingers and all men have big thick ones. Naturally.
*stares at hands*
Orr tells him it’s the original ring from which all others were copied, and was worn by the original Enchantress. It’s now seeking its true owner (gosh, I wonder who that could possibly be? I know – Rivkah!). Orr says it used to be in the custody of the Icarii, but then none other than WolfStar SunSoar gave it to the Charonites. Why? Because “the patterns were altering”, whatever the hell that means. He adds that WolfStar had “strange ideas” and conducted “experiments” and would probably have led his people to disaster if he hadn’t been murdered. Either way WolfStar told Orr he’d know who to pass the Enchantress’ ring on to, and he thinks that’s Axis. But Axis can’t use it himself, and must find its rightful owner. He’ll apparently just “know” who that is.
…yeah, I think we can all guess who gets the special super duper magic ring of awesomeness. Clearly, it will be MorningStar, or maybe EvenSong.
The chapter ends with Axis rhetorically asking himself who the ring will pick and who will “complete this mysterious circle?”
Does the author seriously think this is remotely suspenseful? Come the fuck on. You’d have to be brain damaged not to instantly figure this one out.
The next chapter returns to – ugh, speak of the devil – Azhure. It may shock you to know that she’s currently being special and amazing and wonderful and good at everything. To cap off the last chapter of bullshit, she’s now got two more squads at her command and has somehow turned them into a kickass fighting force. Of course none of them are as amazingly good with a bow as Little Miss Mary Sue, but they’re all twice as good as they used to be and can out-archer pretty much anyone in the country.
Hey, remember how in the last book I kept saying Azhure would eventually out-Sue Axis? Yeah, this is what I was talking about.
And of course, there’s no bad feelings between herself and Belial at all. Because nobody Good can stay angry with Mary Sue for more than maybe a paragraph.
Naturally Azhure – the completely untrained peasant woman – is now part of the AW high command. Because of course she is. She tells Belial they’re ready to fight and she wants to join in despite the pregnancy. And she’s not even showing because Icarii babies are apparently small. This is of course something the author just made up on the spot so Azhure can be pregnant without any of the clumsiness or sore back or any of those other little inconveniences that happen when you’re pregnant.
![]()
Like this, except you also get to have a sweet sweet baby.
Hey, did you know that in a little place I like to call the real world, pregnancy damages a woman for life? There’s a reason why old women waddle when they walk. It’s because pregnancy and childbirth fucks up your hips. It also squashes your organs and gives you stretchmarks and swollen ankles and other fun things. But of course we can’t let any of that happen to Azhure Sue, now can we? We want Pregnancy Drama and Pretty Babies and the beautiful flawless heroine. Yes, all at the same time, and the author’s gonna make it possible, even if it means treating the laws of biology like Silly Putty.
Azhure and Belial and Margarita have a discussion about strategy which I’m just going to skip over, and Azhure is also in charge of the stores, apparently, because why the hell not by this point? Meanwhile the eeeevil Borneheld has twenty thousand soldiers at his command, which is not good news for Team Morally Bankrupt, and now Azhure is apparently a military strategist as well.
And we all thought Roran’s transformation from peasant to (alleged) brilliant army commander was ridiculously implausible. This is even worse! At least Roran had to do some token training missions first! I mean come ON. There’s suspension of disbelief, and then there’s taking someone’s suspension of disbelief, shoving it right down the toilet and pulling the chain over and over again and laughing.
Azhure and Belial then have a brief argument about all the refugees who have been apparently flocking to Sigholt because of the stupid prophecy. Azhure, noted strategic genius, has already sorted out accommodation and supplies for them. And she learned how to do this sort of thing… when? Right, exactly.
Cut to the next scene, in which Margarita is on a scouting mission with Azhure and some of her archers. And as always Azhure is special and amazing and wonderful, ad nauseum, and is now a mighty warrior for no fucking reason.
Then they come across a small encampment of Borneheld’s guys, and Azhure – you know, the peasant woman – is cool as a cucumber and perfectly okay with killing a bunch of fellow human beings. Because she has to be as badass as possible, at every opportunity. Author says so. Gods forbid she actually be a fallible human being in any way shape or form. That was so last novel.
One of the guys in the camp apparently works for Roland, so they don’t charge in and kill everyone after all. Instead they surround the place with archers and Margarita goes in to chat. The guy, Nevelon, is mildly surprised to see him alive and drops the bombshell that Borneheld is King now. He then goes to throw a dagger at him (a dagger is not for throwing, author). But Azhure shoots him in the hand, and then says this:
“The next one goes in your left eye, Nevelon, and I will personally be the one to twist it all the way through to your brain”.
She then demands her arrow back and Magarita says she’s got “a special attachment to those arrows, and will not mind killing you with another to get the first back”.
Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen. Also, what in the blue bleeding hell happened to Azhure? In the last book she was a nervous wreck after accidentally killing a guy who was an active threat, and now she’s pulling shit like this? With absolutely no transitional phase at all? This is so stupid! It’s some of the worst characterisation I’ve ever seen in my life!
Look, you can’t give your characters personality transplants like this. You just can’t. If the author wanted Azhure to be a cold-hearted remorseless killer, then she should have gotten her there properly by actually, you know, showing her changing as a person. Instead of which she just handed her a heap of unearned shinies and then started writing her as a completely different character right out of nowhere. This is incredibly sloppy, lazy, BAD writing.
![]()
Also, now I hate Azhure. Because quite frankly, she’s a bitch. (And, as I mentioned earlier, she’s also going to turn out to be a truly awful, borderline abusive mother later on. Actually, screw the “borderline” part).
Nevelon quite rightly accuses Margarita of being a traitor, which of course he just shrugs off because screw oaths of loyalty and sticking by your comrades and all that other stuff professional soldiers are supposed to care about. He tells Nevelon to scoot on home and tell Borneheld from him that if he doesn’t ally himself with “the cause of the StarMan” he’ll die, and that if he keeps “denying the Prophecy” it’ll tear him apart. Oh fuck off.
Yeah, that’s not going to go over well at all. We already know there’s no way in hell Borneheld is going to join the Axis Fan Club, so the only purpose this entire scene serves is to give the “heroes” a veneer of honour and having the moral high ground in general.
By the way, according to my Kindle Reader I’m now 35% of the way through the book and virtually nothing has happened. But that’s typical of books like this. Because if you actually make the plot move along you can’t drag it out into the obligatory trilogy and ensure that each volume is the size of a house brick. Being concise is for people who aren’t bestsellers, apparently, because never have I ever seen a popular fantasy novel that didn’t faff around for pages and pages. Forget boring the audience – I’m amazed these people don’t wind up boring themselves to death.
Anyway, the condition is that Axis isn’t allowed to share what he’s about to learn with anybody except his children. No explanation is given as to why, but Axis accepts. He asks the guy’s name. It’s Orr. You mean like popular children’s author Wendy Orr?
(She wrote Nim’s Island. Look her up).
Axis asks where all the other Charonites are and Orr says they’re all him. As in the entire race shares a single body. Weird. I guess the Sentinels don’t count? Will this ever be explained? Almost certainly not. It’s just dropped in here and then forgotten. And, Eragon-like, Axis asks no follow-up questions.
Next Axis asks about the underground waterways, and gets a long explanation about how they match the Star Dance somehow. It’s weird and… well, weird. Wendy Orr then reveals that there are actually way more spells rather than the thousand or so Axis learned (in a month). He brings up the subject of Axis’ special gold diamond ring, and cracks up laughing when Axis says it’s just a ring before making fun of the Icarii for being stupid and forgetful and whatnot. Yes, all very amusing – can we please get to the point? For once I agree with Axis when he starts losing his temper.
Finally Orr tells him that there’s basically no limit to the number of magic songs you can sing, and if Axis wants to cast a spell he doesn’t have a song for, all he has to do is think of it while looking at the ring and the ring will just magically show him the notes. Well that’s convenient. And now Axis can basically do any fucking thing he wants with his all-purpose magic. Will he do anything creative with this all-purpose tool he just got for free? Of course not. Sues don’t have any imagination because they never need to have any, because any time they have a problem the author solves it well before they have to use their brains. Par for the course. (This is also why most Sues are morons).
Orr gives him a little lecture about how some spells are too dangerous and will kill you if you try to use them (then why do they exist in the first place?), and you can’t use magic to heal injuries because reasons (unless you’re Faraday, but nobody brings that up). Then Orr makes fun of the Icarii some more for somehow forgetting how to use their own magic rings, and I’m in agreement with him – it’s hilariously implausible and just exists so Axis and Axis alone gets the power-up. (Which will not be used for anything important anyway).
Then Axis brings up the rogue Enchanter who apparently taught him as a sprog, and Orr is disturbed and says he’ll look into it. He then goes on to say Axis can use Magic to teleport, though only to certain places, and some of them are unavailable right now until somebody activates them. You know, just like in a video game.
Then Orr randomly reaches into the water and pulls out a second ring, which is even more special and amazing and wonderful than the one Axis has – it’s apparently made from sapphire and has golden stars moving around inside it. It’s also clearly made for a woman’s finger. Because all women have slim fingers and all men have big thick ones. Naturally.
*stares at hands*
Orr tells him it’s the original ring from which all others were copied, and was worn by the original Enchantress. It’s now seeking its true owner (gosh, I wonder who that could possibly be? I know – Rivkah!). Orr says it used to be in the custody of the Icarii, but then none other than WolfStar SunSoar gave it to the Charonites. Why? Because “the patterns were altering”, whatever the hell that means. He adds that WolfStar had “strange ideas” and conducted “experiments” and would probably have led his people to disaster if he hadn’t been murdered. Either way WolfStar told Orr he’d know who to pass the Enchantress’ ring on to, and he thinks that’s Axis. But Axis can’t use it himself, and must find its rightful owner. He’ll apparently just “know” who that is.
…yeah, I think we can all guess who gets the special super duper magic ring of awesomeness. Clearly, it will be MorningStar, or maybe EvenSong.
The chapter ends with Axis rhetorically asking himself who the ring will pick and who will “complete this mysterious circle?”
Does the author seriously think this is remotely suspenseful? Come the fuck on. You’d have to be brain damaged not to instantly figure this one out.
The next chapter returns to – ugh, speak of the devil – Azhure. It may shock you to know that she’s currently being special and amazing and wonderful and good at everything. To cap off the last chapter of bullshit, she’s now got two more squads at her command and has somehow turned them into a kickass fighting force. Of course none of them are as amazingly good with a bow as Little Miss Mary Sue, but they’re all twice as good as they used to be and can out-archer pretty much anyone in the country.
Hey, remember how in the last book I kept saying Azhure would eventually out-Sue Axis? Yeah, this is what I was talking about.
And of course, there’s no bad feelings between herself and Belial at all. Because nobody Good can stay angry with Mary Sue for more than maybe a paragraph.
Naturally Azhure – the completely untrained peasant woman – is now part of the AW high command. Because of course she is. She tells Belial they’re ready to fight and she wants to join in despite the pregnancy. And she’s not even showing because Icarii babies are apparently small. This is of course something the author just made up on the spot so Azhure can be pregnant without any of the clumsiness or sore back or any of those other little inconveniences that happen when you’re pregnant.
Like this, except you also get to have a sweet sweet baby.
Hey, did you know that in a little place I like to call the real world, pregnancy damages a woman for life? There’s a reason why old women waddle when they walk. It’s because pregnancy and childbirth fucks up your hips. It also squashes your organs and gives you stretchmarks and swollen ankles and other fun things. But of course we can’t let any of that happen to Azhure Sue, now can we? We want Pregnancy Drama and Pretty Babies and the beautiful flawless heroine. Yes, all at the same time, and the author’s gonna make it possible, even if it means treating the laws of biology like Silly Putty.
Azhure and Belial and Margarita have a discussion about strategy which I’m just going to skip over, and Azhure is also in charge of the stores, apparently, because why the hell not by this point? Meanwhile the eeeevil Borneheld has twenty thousand soldiers at his command, which is not good news for Team Morally Bankrupt, and now Azhure is apparently a military strategist as well.
And we all thought Roran’s transformation from peasant to (alleged) brilliant army commander was ridiculously implausible. This is even worse! At least Roran had to do some token training missions first! I mean come ON. There’s suspension of disbelief, and then there’s taking someone’s suspension of disbelief, shoving it right down the toilet and pulling the chain over and over again and laughing.
Azhure and Belial then have a brief argument about all the refugees who have been apparently flocking to Sigholt because of the stupid prophecy. Azhure, noted strategic genius, has already sorted out accommodation and supplies for them. And she learned how to do this sort of thing… when? Right, exactly.
Cut to the next scene, in which Margarita is on a scouting mission with Azhure and some of her archers. And as always Azhure is special and amazing and wonderful, ad nauseum, and is now a mighty warrior for no fucking reason.
Then they come across a small encampment of Borneheld’s guys, and Azhure – you know, the peasant woman – is cool as a cucumber and perfectly okay with killing a bunch of fellow human beings. Because she has to be as badass as possible, at every opportunity. Author says so. Gods forbid she actually be a fallible human being in any way shape or form. That was so last novel.
One of the guys in the camp apparently works for Roland, so they don’t charge in and kill everyone after all. Instead they surround the place with archers and Margarita goes in to chat. The guy, Nevelon, is mildly surprised to see him alive and drops the bombshell that Borneheld is King now. He then goes to throw a dagger at him (a dagger is not for throwing, author). But Azhure shoots him in the hand, and then says this:
“The next one goes in your left eye, Nevelon, and I will personally be the one to twist it all the way through to your brain”.
She then demands her arrow back and Magarita says she’s got “a special attachment to those arrows, and will not mind killing you with another to get the first back”.
Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen. Also, what in the blue bleeding hell happened to Azhure? In the last book she was a nervous wreck after accidentally killing a guy who was an active threat, and now she’s pulling shit like this? With absolutely no transitional phase at all? This is so stupid! It’s some of the worst characterisation I’ve ever seen in my life!
Look, you can’t give your characters personality transplants like this. You just can’t. If the author wanted Azhure to be a cold-hearted remorseless killer, then she should have gotten her there properly by actually, you know, showing her changing as a person. Instead of which she just handed her a heap of unearned shinies and then started writing her as a completely different character right out of nowhere. This is incredibly sloppy, lazy, BAD writing.
Also, now I hate Azhure. Because quite frankly, she’s a bitch. (And, as I mentioned earlier, she’s also going to turn out to be a truly awful, borderline abusive mother later on. Actually, screw the “borderline” part).
Nevelon quite rightly accuses Margarita of being a traitor, which of course he just shrugs off because screw oaths of loyalty and sticking by your comrades and all that other stuff professional soldiers are supposed to care about. He tells Nevelon to scoot on home and tell Borneheld from him that if he doesn’t ally himself with “the cause of the StarMan” he’ll die, and that if he keeps “denying the Prophecy” it’ll tear him apart. Oh fuck off.
Yeah, that’s not going to go over well at all. We already know there’s no way in hell Borneheld is going to join the Axis Fan Club, so the only purpose this entire scene serves is to give the “heroes” a veneer of honour and having the moral high ground in general.
By the way, according to my Kindle Reader I’m now 35% of the way through the book and virtually nothing has happened. But that’s typical of books like this. Because if you actually make the plot move along you can’t drag it out into the obligatory trilogy and ensure that each volume is the size of a house brick. Being concise is for people who aren’t bestsellers, apparently, because never have I ever seen a popular fantasy novel that didn’t faff around for pages and pages. Forget boring the audience – I’m amazed these people don’t wind up boring themselves to death.