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Paolini being his usual arrogant tone-deaf self
Paolini showed off his lack of self-awareness on Twitter again recently.I was tempted to 'fix' it in a retweet; instead, I just vent my frustration here.
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I finally figured out why I don't like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
"My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic" is a show I've long had complicated feelings about. Despite its attractive animation and excellent voice acting, I've never been able to fully enjoy it; there's...
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Enchanter Sporking: Part Six
The next chapter finally returns to Timozel, who we haven’t seen in a while. He’s sitting at a dinner table with some other people, having some acid flashbacks. He sees himself riding on some sort of...
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Enchanter Sporking: Part Seven
The next chapter is called “Beltide”, and this is where the fun really begins. (I had a feeling Beltide was the name of a real religious festival or some such, and turns out the Gaelic name for May Day...
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Enchanter Sporking: Part Eight
People are probably wondering what the hell is going on with the Brisingr spork. Unfortunately snarkbotanya has been delayed in her spork of the next chapter. Kind of... a lot. Rest assurred I've been...
View ArticlePaolini AMA
Hey guys, guess what?Paolini's doing another AMA. Today, if you're in my timezone. If anyone wants to lob a few questions his way, now's your opportunity.
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Brisingr Spork Chapter 42: The Whipping Post
*claws her way out of the ground* I LIIIIIIIVE!Yes, I’m aware of how late I am with this… Real Life has kind of been kicking my butt for the past month or so. Among other things, I got a job, and am...
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Enchanter Sporking: Part Nine
Okay, guys, strap yourselves in - this is where it REALLY starts to get ridiculous. And before we begin, a quick disclaimer: I hereby solemnly swear with my hand on a stack of King James Brown Bibles...
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Enchanter Sporking: Part Ten
And the Brisingr spork is back on track! Next up is torylltales with "Among The Clouds". Hop to it, bucko! Or I'll have to spork it for you, and I've got my hands full with this nonsense already.The...
View ArticleInheritance, guilty pleasure
Okay, I'll admit it, I love that people say "aye" the whole time in Inheritance. It sort of crops up only in the later books and feels pretty unfitting, but I just can't help being charmed by it. It's...
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Enchanter Sporking: Part Eleven
We now return to Axis, who is in a boat in “a vast violet lake” with a crystal ceiling. Neat. (No really, that sounds pretty neat. I’d like to see a painting of it). The Ferryman says he’ll teach him...
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Enchanter Sporking: Part Twelve
It's cold, it's miserable, and I'm suffering from that particular kind of weary depressive feeling you get when it's too bloody cold to do anything and you can't get to sleep. So I guess I might as...
View ArticleAgainst Worldbuilding
Recently found this article detailing a writer's gripes against worldbuilding.My unprofessional, unsolicited two cents/rant:My problem isn't worldbuilding itself, but the danger of worldbuilding being...
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Brisingr Spork Chapter 43: Among The Clouds
Eragon and Saphira go flying!~Eragon could have run the length of the tunnel in about ten minutes, but since the height of the ceiling prevented Saphira from flying or jumping, she would not have been...
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Enchanter Sporking: Part Thirteen
The next chapter opens with Rivkah looking for Azhure, who has apparently disappeared from her bed in the middle of the night. She finds her asleep in Axis’ manly embrace and quite calmly thinks that...
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Enchanter Sporking: Part Fourteen
Ugh, it's been what - 24 hours and I'm already sick of hearing about the stupid royal wedding. Two people I don't know with more money than God just blew millions of dollars on a single ceremony - I...
View ArticleEnchanter Sporking: Part Fifteen
The next chapter cuts to an unspecified amount of time later. Axis is now at a place called WildDog Plains, busy fighting the Skraelings. There’s some description of the campaign so far which I’m not...
View ArticleYour Thoughts on Self-Publishing?
I remember one of the biggest criticisms of Eragon was that back in the day, Paolini was originally self-published (or, rather, that he was published by his parents) before he was discovered. He didn't...
View ArticleHello There!
I've been a lurker here since I discovered the Inheritance sporkings last summer, and thought I should come out of the shadows. I'm an aspiring writer a bit older than Paolini was when he first started...
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Enchanter Sporking: Part Sixteen
Aaaah, what a beautiful morning. I was having the most wonderful dream, too. It was about me cutting Azhure in half with a broadsword. Waking up was an exercise in profound disappointment I can tell...
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