Eragon and Saphira go flying!
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Eragon could have run the length of the tunnel in about ten minutes, but since the height of the ceiling prevented Saphira from flying or jumping, she would not have been able to keep up, so he limited himself to a brisk walk
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Are you trying to tell me that a giant four-legged creature cannot run as fast as a tiny two-legged half-elf? I would believe this if Saphira were a wyvern that had to walk on her wings, but she is very clearly a Western dragon style, with four legs and two wings. Given that most four-legged creatures that are considerably larger than a human can also run considerably faster than one (the exceptions being elephants, which in both species are simply too massive to get much faster than around 6 metres per second, and hippos, who can only reach about 8 m/s for the same reason), I have to conclude that either Saphira has really been getting into the Varden’s food supply, or she is incredibly clumsy and has to walk slowly to avoid tripping.
The rest of the page is boring details that are far more precise than they need to be, and far less necessary than they should be.
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”Within the valley below, ridges of heavy clouds clung to the sides of the mountains like vast grey snakes”
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Is anybody else confused by this metaphor? I’ve never seen clouds look like this. I almost get the impression Paolini hasn’t been in a plane before, and is trying to apply his imagination (for once). Just do a Google image search for “mountains poking up through clouds” or “clouds from above on a mountain”, I can’t think of many things that look less snake-like.
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Eragon has an overreaction to drinking cold water. Might want to get those cavities checked, Eragon.
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Finally, after a full page of basically dithering, Eragon climbs into the saddle.
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“the passes between the mountains were over five miles high”
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For the record, the peak of Mount Everest is 5.4 miles high. I know it’s been said, I just wanted to remind you all that the peaks of the Beor mountains reach into the stratosphere. Just more of Paolini’s ridiculously childish exaggeration and one-upmanship, along with Eragon’s ridiculous power-ups Roran’s ludicrous kill-count, and many other examples.
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Saphira and Eragon talk about the time Eragon Broke The Rules and proved that magic and the AL aren’t inextricably linked after all, but brush it aside as Eragon simply not having “the time to think of the words”.
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Dude. You just broke magic. You disproved everything you’ve ever been told about how magic works, the entire conceit of Galby’s (currently unknown) plan to control all of magic using the Name of the AL, the biggest acknowledged reason for you being sent to live with the elves for months to learn to speak the AL better and apply it with magic, and the entire and only reason for Elva to be living a cursed life as a monstrous abomination. And all you can do is shrug it off and carry on?
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Having a stiff upper lip is all well and good, but either Eragon is more British than John Oliver serving scones with clotted cream on a rowboat on the Thames wearing a leather-elbowed tweed jacket and a straw boat hat as Mary Poppins sings Wouldn’t It Be Loverly while swinging a croquet mallet, or he really is so dumb that he doesn’t realise the enormity, the magnitude of what he’s done.
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In a good book, this would be a major paradigm shift that sees Eragon questioning everything he’s been taught, and possibly even deciding that his place isn’t hidden among the elves while his friends and family and allies are all on the frontlines of a massively outnumbered rebel faction. If I were writing this Eragon and Saphira would immediately head back to the Varden frontlines where he is needed, Oromis be damned. If he could learn to consciously harness the power of “reweaving the world into a form more pleasing to him” without needing to rely on knowledge of the AL words or syntax, he could easily become an unstoppable God-Modded force.
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Instead, we get
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“But you never use the Ancient Language”
“That’s different, I’m a dragon.”
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Moving on.
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The orange sun was a handsbreadth above the horizon
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I quote this because, and this may be a controversial opinion, I really like it. Using common easy to understand measurements in place of specifics is definitely a step in the right direction for Paolini. Of course he could have just said “The sun was low”, but using ‘handsbreadth’ links it back to the fact that Eragon is living in a medieval, pre-standardised-measurements world, and this was a legitimate way to measure latitude and direction by measuring the stars against parts of your hand.
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Eragon comments that if they had flown to the elves the first time, they would have got there faster and had much more time to spend with Oromis. Time that Eragon should realise would have been wasted, because he can perform magic perfectly fine, accurately and precisely, without needing to know the AL words even to think them. He can perform magic by simply wanting to.
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But this point never occurs to him, so the idea that he could have spent more time with the elves to learn about Dragon Ridering seems like a good thing.
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Saphira is stupid enough to try to fly directly into a headwind, instead of either landing and progressing on foot (or by jumping), or flying above the wind. Also, Saphira is an animal larger than a horse, who flies by a combination of magic and muscle power. How strong is this wind that it can have such a dramatic effect on her?
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This is one of the things that bugs me consistently about the series, Paolini is extremely inconsistent about Saphira’s size. Some scenes she’s larger than a house, other scene she’s small enough to curl up under a tree. Some scenes she’s this big lumbering ferocious intimidating predator, other scenes she’s small and light enough to be buffeted around by a stiff breeze.
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Saphira “licks her chops”, which is ridiculous and hilarious because that’s something cats and dogs do, but Saphira is a reptile, not a mammal. The only example I can find of any reptiles licking anything about their face, it is to keep their eyes moist. That’s literally the only example I could find. Saphira isn’t amphibious so she shouldn’t need to keep her eyes wet, and there’s no other reason she might lick her lips like a cat.
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And then in the next paragraph, she’s panting from exertion. So, apparently Saphira is no longer a cat, but a dog. A trusted veterinarian explained that “panting in cats is never normal […] If your cat is panting, there’s something more serious that needs to be investigated.” (Source)
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If Saphira is based on a cat, then she’s based on an overweight cat with heart disease and/or a lung disorder.
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If she’s meant to be a dragon, based on lizards and dinosaur-like animals, i.e. not mammals… she shouldn't be panting.
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Eragon has a Moment of Sensibility™ when he remembers that, hey, there’s an almost incomprehensibly huge store of magical energy sitting on his finger! But Saphira refuses to draw from it because it would be more necessary elsewhere.
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Spoiler: I think this may well be the last time the ring is mentioned. It is certainly never used. It’s the Chekhov’s Gun that was sold for gas money off-screen, and all of the characters are too ashamed to talk about it.
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Eragon thought of the dwarf woman Glumra, and of her faith in the dwarven gods, and for the first time in his life, he felt the desire to pray.
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Okay.
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Um. Just – just give me a moment.
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One of the things I hate most about this series – not exactly by a wide margin, but it does come out on top – is how utterly generic and underdeveloped the human culture is. Their language is ‘default’, they have no religions, no superstitions, no stories or explanations for phenomena. The only cultural trappings we see in the whole series is a generic-ass funeral rite that could have come from any video game, and a wedding ceremony so painfully bereft of identity that it serves only to highlight the problem even more.
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Thee is more worldbuilding in a single line of dialogue from a 90s video game than there is in Alagaesia Human world – when she finds her husband dead in a dungeon in Baldur’s Gate 2 cutscene, Jaheira offers a short prayer: “Silvanus, guide the light to its source. Take this man to what he justly deserves. By nature's will, what was given is returned; what was turmoil is now... is now peace.”
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In comparison, Eragon’s culture has no gods, no stories or allegories or aphorisms, no explanations for things around them (like, where did the moon come from? Why do plants grow? Who or what makes it rain? Aside from Fat Joe, of course) either scientific or religious. No holidays or celebrations, no history of their own aside from one or two famous humans (e.g. King Palencar, Heslant) mentioned only a few times. They don’t seem to have a calendar or any events/feast days (aside from a trade fair) to mark the seasons. They just sort of... exist.
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What makes it worse is that nobody reacts as though they have no culture. When Eragon is taught about the dwarf gods, he doesn’t ask, “what’s a god?”. He understands the concept of gods well enough to immediately accept the possibility of the dwarf gods existing, he just doesn’t have any gods of his own. Or language, or culture.
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The only distinct feature that seems to exist about Alagaesian Humans is that they are Not Elves and Not Dwarves.
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I mean, there is a slim possibility of explaining this away as a result of Galby’s ruthless oppression of culture, but even then the rebellious older people might throw in some whispered hints about the forbidden Old Ways/Old Gods or something. Like how the rebels in Star Wars greet each other with “may the Force be with you” in defiance of the empire’s anti-jedi stance. But we don’t even get that.
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And then, even if Galby did actively try to do anything tyrannical about suppressing culture, people still continue to have young children. They would still tell stories to their kids, if only to get them to shut up and listen for a few minutes, and to lull them to sleep. Kids still ask a thousand questions a day, to which someone with no science or religion would still be tempted to make up any old story just to get a moment of peace.
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"I TOLD you, the rain falls because Ngani the thunderstorm goddess is sad because she can never be in the same place as her husband Welu, the sun god who pushes his flaming wheelbarrow of fire across the sky to keep his cooking-fire bright in his home under the Western edge of the world, because it is too cold underneath the world. Now shut up and go to sleep."
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See, I made that up in a couple of minutes, completely from nothing, but Paolini with all of his years of research and planning couldn't be bothered to give his human characters even the most basic of beliefs or stories. ‘Human’ culture in Alagaesia is void of creativity, introspection, curiosity, imagination, or even the slightest bit of actual humanity.
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Anyway. Moving on.
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“Eragon whispered, “ Guntera, king of the gods, if you exist, and if you can hear me, and if you have the power, then please, still this wind. I know I’m not a dwarf, but Hrothgar adopted me into his clan, and I think this gives me the right to pray to you.”
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Oh yes, this is a flattering prayer that any god would be glad to answer. “If you have the power”. “I think I have the right to pray to you”.
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Eragon can’t even be humble when praying.
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Of course, because Guntera and Eragon are both just extensions of the Overgod of Alagaesia, Christopher Paolini, the wind drops overnight.
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And even then Eragon isn’t happy. “Blast it. We won’t make it to Ellesmera today, will we?”
“Not unless the wind decides to blow in the opposite direction and carry us there upon its back.”
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A god you doubted and insulted came to your aid in a desperate hour of need and did exactly what you asked of him, and your response is “but why can’t you just do everything else for me as well?”
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Anyway, despite all Eragon’s entitled whinging, they manage to make it to the forest by dusk, where Eragon scries with Oromis.
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Oromis is deliberately unhelpful. “I will not instruct at a distance. […] your studies are just as important as protecting the Varden, maybe even more so. We must do this properly, or not at all.”
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A decent novel would have Eragon saying “fine, if that’s the way it must be. I choose to defend my friends and the innocents caught in the crossfire of this war, with or without your help”.
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But that would be (a) too much like Eragon having a moral backbone, and (b) way too similar to Luke running off to Cloud City to rescue his friends even when Yoda told him his training was not complete.
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And this series is already far too similar to the Star Wars original trilogy for comfort.
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Instead, Eragon and Saphira discuss the menoa tree and Solembum’s prophecy yet again. In an attempt to heighten the “mystery”, Saphira suggests the weapon could be anything, like a spell or a book or a sharp rock, rather than anything relating to swords like Eragon automatically assumed.
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The chapter about travelling closes predictably, with yet more travel.
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* tildes (~) have been used to represent extra whitespace lines, because I'm tired of grappling with Livejournal's utterly broken wysiwyg editor.