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The Colouring Book Part Three: Return of the Cliches

The Ra'zac's mountain. Which actually looks kinda neat, albeit ludicrously oversized.The Star Rose Sapphire Thingy. Which just looks like... well, a rose. You really wouldn't know that thing was meant...

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Enchanter Sporking: Part Twenty-Four

The chapter from the last installment continues, and it occurs to me now that Axis and Azhure have so far spent at least 80% of this book going to parties and having Relationship/Baby Drama. Isn’t...

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Enchanter Sporking: Part Twenty-Five

The next chapter is still with Axis, unfortunately. It’s now a month later and he’s approaching Carlon, which apparently has “pink walls and [snip] silver and gold rooftops”, which are “like a...

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Anti Shirt Shirts

Hey guys!In the past we had official Antishurtugal t-shirts, but that was a looong time ago. So now, your very own Epistler has decided to bring it back! I've come up with three designs so far, and am...

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Something Brewing...

So, Paolini's been hinting at writing a short story involving Murtagh and forks. Or a fork, anyway. Which Paolini hinted at previously as a Great Noodle Incident in murtagh's past.Do you think this is...

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Enchanter Sporking: Part Twenty-Six

Okay, I tried to post this a few hours ago and fuckin' LJ helpfully removed all my formatting and pictures. Then it did it again when I tried to edit. Twice. This is now my fourth attempt. I am...

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Enchanter Sporking: Part Twenty-Seven

With the battle over (and all the named characters still alive, naturally), Axis sends the surviving Coroleans home, telling them to tell the Emperor the deal is off and they’re not welcome in “my...

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Twilight old clip

This might be a topic which has been discussed to the point of ad nauseum but thought I'd just share an amusing clip of how Pattinson reacts to the Twilight series by...

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Pao Twitter Update

One of the many counterarguments we've seen against CP's writing back in the day is "He's matured as a writer!!" while his works prove otherwise. And these few tweets never fails to surprise when you'd...

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Enchanter Sporking: Part Twenty-Eight

Did you know the vocals in the soundtrack to the movie Coraline don't actually contain any words? No really. To the untrained ear it sounds lke French, but in reality it's just gibberish with French...

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Enchanter Sporking: Part Twenty-Nine

Gentle readers, be prepared for this chapter. This… is the chapter where Borneheld dies. And it’s going to be extremely unpleasant to read, even at second hand.Me right now, if I was good-looking.We...

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And We Are Live!

Well, I said I'd do it and now I have! The AS shop is now live, and its first t-shirt design has been uploaded!If you would like your own design to be added, just post it here and make sure it's big...

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Enchanter Sporking: Part Thirty

So, you might be wondering, what precisely was the point of Axis crossing the Moral Event Horizon other than to provide us with some utterly gratuitous gore? Well wonder no longer, because now we get...

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Enchanter Sporking: Part Thirty-One

In the next chapter, Axis “proclaim[s] Tencendor Chicken” in a grand and emotionally charged ceremony.How do I know that? Because the author says so. It literally says “Axis proclaimed Tencendor in a...

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Brisingr Spork: Chapter 44 - Butting Heads

Chapter 44: Butting HeadsEpistler: Or, as SnarkbotAnya suggested we call it, “Buttheads”. Which describes the entire cast of this novel.Anyway, this chapter now has the dubious distinction of having...

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Enchanter Sporking: Part Thirty-Two

Don't worry, guys - it's nearly over now. But not before some more horror and Xtreme Sueness, unfortunately. And more of Axis being an evil monster. Naturally.In the next chapter, Axis does what he...

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The problem with ignoring criticism:

One of the core problems with the Inheritance Cycle and a lot of other bad stories for that matter is this: Their authors refuse to take criticism. Speaking as an author on fanfiction.net, taking...

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Enchanter Sporking: Part Thirty-Three

I know it's rather soon, but... I really just want to get this over with. It's time for the worst, most vile scene in this entire book, possibly the entire trilogy, and Exhibit Z (we've already covered...

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Enchanter Sporking: Part Thirty-Four - The End

Well here we are - the final installment. It's been a long 'un and now it's over, and a good time was had by none.While I was preparing this post, a very depressing thought occurred to me, which I...

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Brisingr Spork: Chapter 45 - Genealogy

In which our hero’s internal struggle is removed, because gods forbid Eragon should have to grapple with less than perfectly virtuous ancestry...We open the chapter with yet another POV shift, away...

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